I am so tired today. I didn't go to sleep until after 4AM last night… That just shouldn't be humanly possible. But I could not for the love of goodness stop thinking about different things going on in my life. My future, my friends and family, my relationship with the Lord, school currently and school in the future aka college and many other things that just came to mind. I was so frustrated which didn't help anything and I was so tired, I became an emotional mess. This might sound weird to some people but I love the feeling after a good long cry, especially if I cry at night. The only thing is I like to sleep a long time after the waterworks and this didn't get to happen. I only got 2 ½ hours of sleep……… not enough! But I feel somewhat better today and I hope that all my stress for things going on starts to dwindle soon.
I am so excited about college but like I said before it completely freaks me out. I know I will be successful but the thought of failing does pop into my head. I am so nervous about meeting new people (because I tend to judge way too quickly. I have high standards for people, which is terrible and wrong but I am working on it) and building lasting relationships with others. I am also starting freak out about finding a church home and a Sunday school class to join. I've been thinking about how I have gone to the same church that I am going to now since we moved here 12 years ago. I have been with the same group of girls (which I have never been super close with) for that time period too so I'm ready to go find my own church home but thinking about it makes me scared and nervous but also o so excited.
Did I say that I was tired? Because I am. Really tired.
So that is what is going on with me emotionally since I know everyone in the blog world wants to know about it. And right now in my "what people see on the outside" life, there is really nothing abnormal going on. I wake up, go to school, come home, eat lunch (sometimes, sometimes I forget), go to work, leave work and on Mondays go to class, Tuesdays go home and eat dinner, Wednesday go to church, Thursdays go home and eat dinner, and Fridays come home and eat dinner. I do other things on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, but it always varies. I have a pretty exciting life, right?
Graduation is almost here! We just started our sixth 6th weeks of the school year and I'm so ready to be done. I am ready for some change in my life. As scary as it is, it so very exciting. (Can you tell I have very mixed emotions about this?)
And this summer is going to be SUPER busy! I graduate May 28th and then the craziness begins:
June 8-9 I have orientation at Texas State. This isn't Fish Camp. Just orientation.
June 13-17 is Vacation Bible School (I am so pumped I get to do it this year because the last 4 years I have had cheer camp the same exact week)
July 1-9 Babysitting Beach Trip (I go as the nanny)
July 10-15 High School Camp for church
July 17-21 Middle School Camp for church (I'm still not sure if I'll go as a youth leader yet)
July 26-31 Mission Trip to St. Louis
And I'll also be working when I'm home and I'll also have fish camp during the summer sometime, I just hope it's not during High School Camp or Mission Trip. It can run over any of the other things. So I'll be crazy busy… But I'll have lots of pictures.
Hope all of you are having a wonderful Wednesday!
Peace and Love!