JUNE=COMPLETE

I win. I am still alive and summer one is over. THANK GOODNESS! 
To be honest. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. 
I didn't have to (although I sometimes choose to) stay up till 3am every night finishing homework.
I didn't die.
I didn't fail any classes. 
I actually got A's in all four classes! 
That's pretty dang impressive if you ask me. 
So June/Summer 1= COMPLETED! 

I did get to do something fun each week during June. My friend and I bought Six Flags season passes and would (and will continue to) go every Sunday during this past month. We even went one random Friday night. And that was by far the best purchase of the summer! Most weeks, it's what got me through, looking forward to riding roller coasters and just not worrying about homework, grades, or projects. Best idea!

This past weekend, I went to Dallas for the forth of July and took the Megabus home. I've always wanted to take it and just get the experience. We left on Friday morning at 7:20am (and we almost missed our bus. We made it by 9 minutes....) and the bus ride there was fine. It wasn't the most comfortable ride but I didn't have to drive, I could play on phone, and if I wanted I could read my book for my summer 2 class. Overall, the ride there was fine.
BUT...
The ride home was a whole different story. We were scheduled to leave Dallas at 5:05pm so this time we decided to get there early because we wanted to get a seat together and because we didn't want the stress of being late. So we left our house around 3:30 (also enough time to get a drink at Sonic) to get to the bus station no later than 4:20ish... well.... we got there and our bus wasn't there yet... I wasn't worried, yet. Then 4:45 came around and there was still no bus. But I didn't want my dad to have to wait around so we told him we would call him once the bus got there. Well, little did we know, the bus was broken at the stop before ours..... and wouldn't be there for at least another 2 HOURS!!! So I called my dad, and he came back so we could go get dinner since it was dinner time. Then we went back about an hour and fifteen minutes later. Still no bus. But then we thought our bus was coming so we jumped out of the car real quick, got our stuff and got in the line that was already forming, just to learn that it wasn't our bus. I immediately texted my dad to let him know, not expecting him to come back (which he did) because it was 6:45 and we were expecting our bus to be there anytime. So I told my dad that he didn't have to stay around and that we would just wait for the bus so that he could finally leave... the people working at the station were not the most helpful but that's because no one was telling them where the bus was so we called customer service to see how long we were going to be waiting. Well after 3 calls that told us everytime, that our bus would be there in 20 minutes and if it wasn't to call back later... we were starting to lose hope. After waiting for over an hour and half (now making the time 8:30pm, mind you our bus was suppose to arrive in Austin at 8:20pm....) our bus FINALLY showed up.... FINALLY! We didn't get back home until 1am..... and the bus ride was super bumpy and uncomfortable because we were tired but it was too difficult to sleep on the bus. So the trip home was not satisfactory. But we did make it home and we didn't break down, so I'm just thankful for that!

Summer 2 classes started this morning and I'm thinking that this will be much easier than summer 1 was. Except the part that my first class starts at 8am... blah. But at least I am done at 11:40am! And my second class, we don't have class on Fridays! Which is AWESOME!
So here goes nothing! Time to finish up summer school!

Peace and Love

Summer School Stinks

I have completed my first week of my adventurous overtaking of 12 hours in one summer session. Only 18 days left! I know that doesn't sound like a lot but when you go to school everyday, Monday through Friday, from 9am-6pm, it's a lot. That's 9 hours a day. 45 hours a week. 207 hours for the whole month... It's kind of a lot. 

But I am so thankful and grateful that I have the opportunity and the ability (THANK YOU MOM AND DAD!!!) to do this so that I can graduate ON TIME! Which is a really big deal since I thought I would be graduating a semester behind, which would have stunk. 

So that is what I am currently doing with my life. School and homework, sometimes sleeping and eating. And working on Saturdays. Except next Saturday because my mom is coming to town! I still have no clue what we are going to be doing but I am just excited that we get to spend time with each other. 

In July, she is going on a mission trip to Kenya! This is her first mission trip... EVER! And I am o so excited for her. She is nervous as ever but I know this will be such a great and awesome experience for her. She has no idea what to expect so I am so excited to hear all the stories when she gets back! Please pray for her and her team as they prepare for their trip. Pray for safety, good health, and that the Lord provides amazing opportunities for them while they are there.

Nothing really exciting is happening for the next two months except summer school. I am hopefully going to Florida in mid-August to get out of town for a while and to go see my aunt and the beach!! Which makes me really excited! Hopefully that will all work out. I am also going to the J.T. concert in the beginning of August so that will be really exciting also!

So I guess no news is good news... Not really sure. Ha! 

Hope everyone is having a fabulous summer and that they are melting.

Peace and Love

Simple Sunday

Last night, I was able to experience two friends of mine get married. It was a beautiful wedding that was completely Christ-centered. I hope the best for my two friends, Taylor and Logan Bell. (cause they are married they now have the same last name!!, CRAZY!!!!)

It was also awesome because I was able to see and catch up with friends that I haven't seen in quite a long time. I love that I have a desire to be around community again. For the past year, I haven't really desired friendships with others and lately, I have felt so lonely. So it was so wonderful to see people and be around such a loving community.

This morning, after waking up from a great nights sleep, I went to church. I was kinda nervous because for the past few Sundays when I would go, I would show up, stay for the service, and then quickly leave. But this Sunday on my drive to church, I was really hoping that I would be able to go to lunch with people. I didn't really care who, just people. And I was able to go eat with the most random group of people. It was such a humbling time that I am grateful I got to experience. 

I didn't really have any afternoon plans which I was really thankful for. Even though, I should have gone to work out, I made the decision to take a nap. That was the greatest decision I made all day. I took a three hour long nap and probably could have napped longer but decided I should get up and do something with my life... even though that just meant getting on Facebook... 

I was invited to go to the movies tonight with another random group of people. We went to see X-Men, which is not a movie I would choose to see, but I love when I'm asked to go to these type of movies because I normally really enjoy them. And tonight was no different. I really liked it even though I was super confused throughout 70% of the movie. But it was super action packed and fun. When the movie ended, the four of us stood outside and talked for a little over an hour even though we were all super tired. It was such an awesome time.

Even though today was super chill, it was such a good day. I love days when nothing is planned but everything falls into place. Today I am grateful for simple and easy days like today. 

Peace and Love.

Update on life.... from the past two years...

Almost two years have past since I wrote my last post.... and A LOT has changed in those two years.
Like the fact that I only have one year of college left?!?! What the heck! 
People say that college is the best years of your life, but they don't mention that they are also the hardest and most challenging years. 
Things and people are constantly changing and I have definitely experienced that first hand.
Some of them were good changes. Some of them were terrible and I would never wish them on anyone.
I seriously don't even know where to start...

So I have finished my sophomore and junior year of college now. 
I have had no fear of failing anymore classes either. 
I changed my major from communication disorders to education.
I moved out of the dorms and lived at home the summer after my freshman year.
I moved into an apartment with two other girls for my sophomore year.
Got a job at a local gym as a childcare worker.
Had many good and bad memories in the apartment.
Was promoted to childcare supervisor in March.
Bought a dog named Shiloh without my parents permission.
Broke up with boy.
Told parents about dog by bringing him home.
Passed all my classes and made Dean's List for the first time.
Stayed in San Marcos for the summer after my sophomore year.
Worked and took six hours of summer school.
Moved into a duplex with three other girls.
Was the hardest year of college so far.
Realized that many of my "friends" from the past year weren't real friends.
Continued working at gym as childcare supervisor.
Began to nanny for a local family.
Became consumed with school and work.
Took Shiloh to dog park and on walks, occasionally. 
Began to realize living with three girls was a bad decision.
Passed all my classes and made Dean's List.
Almost moved out at Christmas time.
Made New Years resolution to "Be Intentional" in every aspect of my life.
Began block classes in spring for education degree.
Found a new roommate for final year of college.
Brother got married in March.
Decided to move out of house in May.
Gave Shiloh to a new family.
Passed all my classes and made Dean's List.
Moved into new place.
And you have been caught up on my life.

That is the very condensed version of the past two years. Many of those things were just small parts that have happened and some of those things are huge things that I still think about. But something I have learned in the past two years is that in order for me to be happy, I have to choose to be that way. No person and no thing can make me happy. It is a choice. A lifestyle. 
So something else, along with my New Years resolution of being intentional, is to intentional make the choice to be happy. 
It is so easy for me to get caught up in the things that have happened in my past that I wish I could do over. But being able to choose to be happy is one that I hope I never look back and wish I would have done. I have an amazing life and have been given so much from so many different people. I hope that I never forget how much I am loved, cherished, and thought of by all the different people in my life. 
Hopefully I won't have to do another two year catch up, but if I do, remember in all times to choose joy!

Peace and love!

O, hey there blog....

So it's been awhile. Yes. Sorry about that. How is life? It's really good.... A lot of things have changed since we last met. It's crazy to think about what all has happened since November. Dang!! Well, let me catch you up.

November- Josh and Leslie got married!! (for those of you who don't know, that's my brother and now sister-in-law) Yeah for them! It was a really fun wedding and if I danced that hard everyday, I would be skinny. 

There was also Thanksgiving a few days after their wedding which was fun. I love getting to spend time with family and catch up with everybody. I didn't really go Black Friday shopping either because 1. I didn't have anyone to go with and 2. I didn't have any money... (two big problems in my eyes, especially the second one)

December- Finished my first semester as a college student and didn't fail any classes!! Let me tell you, I definitely thought I was going to fail my psychology class but guess who got a 59.8.... THIS CHICK! Yeah, I know I should have a least gotten a C but you know what, I'll take the D because it is SOOOOOO much better than an F. Am I right or am I right?

What else happened? I went home for about a whole month. It was wonderful being home and getting to sleep in my own bed, shower in my own shower, and eat food that wasn't from Jones dining hall. 

Christmas was wonderful. I got my first pair of Chacos. I wear them all the time. They are the best shoes ever! 

January- I started my year off right away! On the 1st, two of my friends (Karlie and Kalene) and me headed to Passion 2012 in Atlanta Georgia! Which for me was my first major road trip without my parents. So to say I was super excited would be an understatement. If you've never heard of Passion and your a college student or you know a college student, I would highly suggest that you look into it because it was such an awesome experience and if I am blessed enough to get to go again, I would totally take it up! 

I went back to school for my second semester as a college student. YEAH! I love being in San Marcos with all my friends and I realized while being home during that month just how blessed I am at school.

February- Busy with school and other activities... Honestly I can't remember exactly what went on during this month. I know I was going to school, church, Rise meetings, hanging out with friends, learning how to two step even more, playing Phase 10 with Mare, and just being a normal college student.

March- At the beginning of the month, I was so blessed to get to go on a weekend retreat with the college ministry that I am apart of. The weekend was called Encounter and during the weekend you get to spend a ton of time in the presence of God and just fully turn things over to him that you haven't let go of. We all need a weekend like this and I was at a point in my life when I really needed it. Such a fun weekend with amazing friends and an amazing and awesome God! Then, Spring Break happened! Guess what I did? If you guessed stayed home while dog sitting and nannying, then you are correct.... I know, I'm a crazy college student. I know. It was a really good week though because I got to sleep and just hang out. When I got back to school, I was ready to finish the year strong! We went dancing the Saturday night when we got back and it was so much fun. This is also the night that I met some of the most wonderful that I have ever met! One of the things on my bucket list was to meet a great group of friends, which I had done before this point but little did I know that these few people would mean so much to me so quickly. And honestly when I first met them, I didn't even think twice about seeing them again after that night... Crazy how God works in our lives, right? But this is just when I met them...


April- Easter happens during this month! Yeah for getting to go home and see family! But the Wednesday before going home, I went to see my brother, Jake, in Belton perform in their Easter pageant that they put on every year. I am so blessed to have grown up in a family that loves Jesus with all their hearts and lives their lives fully for him. When I got back from Easter, I started to hang out with this new group of friends because my sweet friend I've nicknamed Slantie kept inviting me. I felt so welcomed and the relationships came so easily. Some of the easiest conversations I've ever had. It was so wonderful! My mom even got to come at the end of the month, finally! It was so exciting! She even got to spend the night in a dorm again after not doing that for just a few many years. I love that she is so precious to do that. One of my favorite things from the whole weekend is that she got to met these new friends and from what I saw she seemed to really enjoy them. But here comes my second favorite part of the weekend, she knew I like one of the boys..... I didn't even know I liked him. Is she good or what? So if you know me, you know I have never dated any boy before, I've only had these ridiculous crushes on guys but this is all because Christ was shielding me from boys that would just hurt me and not treat me like I should be treats. (But of course, growing up I never saw it this way) But by far my favorite part of the weekend was getting to take my mom to the church where I attend. I love my church at school and I was so excited to get to share it with her and let her see where I have been growing in my faith while at school. And who doesn't love worshiping with their parents?! So it was really cool to let my mom see my life as a collge student and I was so thankful that she was able to come spend the weekend with me.


May- FINALS!! So finals happened. I did pretty good on all of them, I even got my grades later once I got home and learned that I got all B's during my spring semester!!!! Which was such a blessing and a shock since I definitely thought I failed my biology class. Not thought, was sure. I failed every test.... I should of. But I worked my butt off in that class and went to office hours and sucked up and sat in the front and did everything I could do and it paid off!! YEAH!
Some other cool things that happened. Me and boy, I mentioned, started dating.... which is crazy because I definitely didn't think I was going to be dating anybody.... ever. But God can really surprise you sometimes.
I also had to come home during May because I had to finally leave Jackson hall.... sad day? Not really. It was pretty exciting actually because it was such a great experience and it wasn't that sad because my room was pretty empty since my mom took a lot of the stuff home with her and since all my neighbors and roomie had already left. I did stay in San Marcos a few extra days even once i moved out because of boy and because I just didn't really want to go home quite yet. (partly because I didn't want to face my father with the face that I thought I failed biology. I didn't know yet that I hadn't.) But when the reality finally came, I had to say bye to all my friends for the next 2 1/2 to 3 months.... and I had to say bye to boy which was really hard because we had just "official" started dating like a week before and I wasn't going to get to see him for 80+ days because he is on a Summer Project with CRU.... hard life, I know. Coming home was hard. Just because I also didn't know exactly what I was going to do with my life. I had planned since about February that I was going to be working at a special needs camp but things didn't work out and I had no clue what I was going to do. I had plan a to plan f when God finally revealed what he was going to have me do this summer, which is nanny two precious kiddos.But that didn't start till the beginning of June. So I literally just sat around the house, slept, and ate for the first week. But during that week, I was in constant conversation with that new group of friends I told you about and I am so blessed that four of them, including boy, got to come and visit me!! I totally needed it and I was lucky that they got to come!


June and July- Summer! Yeah for sweating all the time... I started nannying at the beginning of June. It has been such a blessing and I have been able to grow so much in my faith during these two months. Even though it isn't very much fun being separated from friends, it is much needed because it shows me just how blessed I really am and how the Lord has surrounded me with such an amazing amount of supportive people that love me for me and want only the best for me! And who doesn't love sending snail mail and receiving snail mail? I am blown away everyday by the grace and mercy that the Lord blesses me with. I don't deserve it at all but yet He loves me enough to still give it to me. That is an incredible love that I can only try so hard to give to others, especially these sweet kids I get to love on this summer.


I hope this year has been a blessing for all of you and that you are able to see the love of Jesus in everything you do... even though it's hard, I promise, it's totally worth it!!


Love y'all!

I know/I don't know

I know I am beautiful. But sometimes it’s just an awesome thing when someone tells you this, and you don’t even know that someone. Whenever this happens, it completely makes my day. No matter what has happened through my day, knowing that someone else thinks I am pretty just makes me feel good. But I forget, my creator thinks I am the most beautiful thing in the world. He created me for a reason and a purpose, even though; I don’t always want to or be that reason or purpose. But his plan is so much better than my own. I love when I remember this. My heart fills with gratitude that no matter what I do, good or bad, no matter how much I judge others and myself, he doesn’t judge me. He loves me for me. The way that I am is the way that he wants me to be. He LOVES me!!

I don’t know why I struggle so much with self-confidence sometimes. I get so wrapped up in what others think of me… and it is sooo tiring. It one of my biggest struggles. I am so self-conscious about what other people think about me, whether it is “Do they think I am pretty/nice/a good person/etc.?” and it is so ridiculous of me. God doesn’t care what others think of me. I should love myself, a beautiful girl with a happy spirit, because he created me just the way he wanted me to be. I am here on this earth not for myself but for his glory. I forget this so often. It is a daily struggle to remember that this is not my world, it is God’s, and I am only here for a temporary time. I waste so much time on the silliest things. I have the potential to do so many great things but how often do I avoid doing these things because of my own selfish desires. I would rather spend 3 hours on Facebook stalking people that I never see rather than going and changing the lives of children that have been through so much more than I have ever been through.

I know that God has some amazing plans for my life. I’m not sure what they are but I have faith that they are going to be pretty awesome. I know this because so far in my life, this is true. I have been able to experience some pretty incredible things. Being able to go on a mission trip to Honduras for a week is the first thing that pops in my head. It was such a blessing in my life that I was able to get to experience such an amazing trip. God revealed himself so much to me that week and that is because I was so out of my comfort zone. Something that I have hear numerous times in the past few weeks is that if you don’t feel uncomfortable with where you are at with your relationship with Christ then  you aren’t growing with Christ. And I have to say, I agree with this. Being out of my comfort zone not only during that week but when I choose to do that here at school or even in the past, I have been able to experience so much more than I ever would have been able to be if I would have stayed in my “safe bubble”.

I don’t know why I struggle so much with listening to God. I love to make plans and do things “on my own”. I am kind-of completely ridiculous when it comes to being in control of situations. It was so hard learning how to two-step when I came to college because one: I had never two-stepped before and two: I didn’t know how to trust that the guy could lead me. I have to give over control every time I go to two-step because it is the guy’s responsibility to lead, not my own and I don’t know why but I find that so hard to do. The same thing has to happen with my relationship with Christ. It is a daily struggle that I have giving over control to the God, the maker of all things. I have to wake and immediately pray that God will lead the day and not me. It is so hard. I still fail. I will never be perfect.

I know that my life here on earth is for God and to build the kingdom of Glory. I love knowing that God has chosen me to be someone that helps to lead others to Him. I find that such a cool blessing. I’ve also come to find out that God will never give me more than I can handle. His love for me is never-ending and He knows just how much I can handle. Sometimes it feels as if the world is giving me more than I can handle but I have to remember that God’s plan for my life is so much better than the worlds. The world is such a test of faith and I love that I can stop what I am doing and pray for guidance during any situation that I am going through. Even though it is hard, looking back on the past, the struggles I have had have turned into some pretty incredible blessings. And I am so thankful for those.

Excuse me as I rant....

Hello... anyone out there? 


I hope not. No offense if you are but your about to hear me complain until I don't have anything else to complain about because honestly, I just need to get somethings off my chest without anyone interrupting me or telling me that I'm not being nice or whatever. So if you don't want to listen, or technically speaking read, all my complains from the last, o you know, month and half that I've been at school, then I suggest that you just click that nice little red x at the top of the internet or you click the back button and go back to the last thing you were looking at because I'm kinda in a ticked off mood and I just need to rant. 


If you want to read my rant, and I'm not really sure why you would want to (besides if your mother and you want to know why I'm ticked) because its just me whining about my life not going the way I want it to even though this isn't my life, I'm only here because of the grace of God. 


With me saying that I realize I probably shouldn't rant on about how my room-mate has been driving me crazy or about how I hate being a person that over analyzes things and takes things too personally or how I am so stressed out in school that I don't understand why I am even considered a college student, and me continuing to rant about these things are so little compared to the plan that God has for me. 


So I don't understand why I get so dang frustrated when these things happen. Maybe its because I am human. And being human means making mistakes. And let me tell you that I make a lot of mistakes. A LOT! Maybe I get frustrated with these things because life is so different than it has ever been in the 19 years that I have been living. I've never lived away from home before, heck, I've never been away from my parents for more than 3 weeks. So going and living 4 freakin' hours away from them is really hard sometimes. Did I mention that I really miss those to crazy people called parents? O because I do. I think I get frustrated with these internally struggles the most because moving away and growing up is hard. It's a learning process for sure. I know that God has some amazing plans for me (He even says this in Jeremiah 29:11) and all these struggles are for a reason but I don't know the reason yet and that really frustrates me too. 


I am kinda of a control freak. Okay mom, kinda might be wrong. I AM a control freak. And since moving away from home, me controlling anything, was thrown out the window about 2 seconds once I pulled away from my place I called home. Being in control isn't what I'm suppose to do anyways. All control should be placed in God, I know this, but guess what! I'm a sinner. I forget sometimes. Or a ton of times. And I fail at remember that I can not control everything. It sucks. I hate it. But I know that when I let God control my life everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, goes better. Even though it is super hard for me to give up my control, I know I need to. Its important. 


So guess what. This so called "rant" has completely changed from what I thought it was going to be. I was just  going to get on here and type away about how annoying my life is right now and how frustrated and aggravated and annoyed I am. But I realized as I started typing, that isn't what my heavenly Father would want me to do. He would want me to give it all to him. He wants me to not worry about what people are thinking about me or if they like me. He doesn't care if my make-up is on or if my hair looks perfect. He created me. He made me look the way I do. He LOVES the way I look, even when I wake up in the mornings and I look like I was hit by a truck a few too many times. He likes that.... And I should too. In the bible, God says he will never gives too much to handle (1 Corinthians 10:13), it doesn't say this exactly that way but being reminded that our God loves us so much that he would send his only son, who was perfect, to die a death that no one can even imagine, is my definition of true love. 


True Love. Jesus Christ. It make me think of the song by Phil Wickman. The words below are part of the song: 


Come close listen to the story
About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave His only Son just to save us


The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers Broken Heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died


I love these words. They are so powerful. It is so hard to even comprehend a love this great. I love the words when it says, "Walls we couldn't move cam crashing down. We were free and made alive," because it reminds me about how amazing Christ love for us is. Walls we couldn't move because of our sins because of our failures because of our wrong doings were broken down and crushed and forever gone because Jesus Christ died for us, which makes us free and alive to live. We no longer have to die a painful death because the Father sent His only Son to SAVE us! Fromour problems. To me, I needed to hear these words today. I need to be reminded sometimes that I am loved. I need to be reminded sometimes that I'm not alone. I was bought with a price and I am the princess of the King of all Kings. And I just have to say that the feeling of everlasting, unfailing love is a pretty dang good feeling.




P.S.- I love when Christ interrupts my negative thoughts and completely turns me around to him.... that kinda might have just happened. Okay, it totally did.