Excuse me as I rant....

Hello... anyone out there? 


I hope not. No offense if you are but your about to hear me complain until I don't have anything else to complain about because honestly, I just need to get somethings off my chest without anyone interrupting me or telling me that I'm not being nice or whatever. So if you don't want to listen, or technically speaking read, all my complains from the last, o you know, month and half that I've been at school, then I suggest that you just click that nice little red x at the top of the internet or you click the back button and go back to the last thing you were looking at because I'm kinda in a ticked off mood and I just need to rant. 


If you want to read my rant, and I'm not really sure why you would want to (besides if your mother and you want to know why I'm ticked) because its just me whining about my life not going the way I want it to even though this isn't my life, I'm only here because of the grace of God. 


With me saying that I realize I probably shouldn't rant on about how my room-mate has been driving me crazy or about how I hate being a person that over analyzes things and takes things too personally or how I am so stressed out in school that I don't understand why I am even considered a college student, and me continuing to rant about these things are so little compared to the plan that God has for me. 


So I don't understand why I get so dang frustrated when these things happen. Maybe its because I am human. And being human means making mistakes. And let me tell you that I make a lot of mistakes. A LOT! Maybe I get frustrated with these things because life is so different than it has ever been in the 19 years that I have been living. I've never lived away from home before, heck, I've never been away from my parents for more than 3 weeks. So going and living 4 freakin' hours away from them is really hard sometimes. Did I mention that I really miss those to crazy people called parents? O because I do. I think I get frustrated with these internally struggles the most because moving away and growing up is hard. It's a learning process for sure. I know that God has some amazing plans for me (He even says this in Jeremiah 29:11) and all these struggles are for a reason but I don't know the reason yet and that really frustrates me too. 


I am kinda of a control freak. Okay mom, kinda might be wrong. I AM a control freak. And since moving away from home, me controlling anything, was thrown out the window about 2 seconds once I pulled away from my place I called home. Being in control isn't what I'm suppose to do anyways. All control should be placed in God, I know this, but guess what! I'm a sinner. I forget sometimes. Or a ton of times. And I fail at remember that I can not control everything. It sucks. I hate it. But I know that when I let God control my life everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, goes better. Even though it is super hard for me to give up my control, I know I need to. Its important. 


So guess what. This so called "rant" has completely changed from what I thought it was going to be. I was just  going to get on here and type away about how annoying my life is right now and how frustrated and aggravated and annoyed I am. But I realized as I started typing, that isn't what my heavenly Father would want me to do. He would want me to give it all to him. He wants me to not worry about what people are thinking about me or if they like me. He doesn't care if my make-up is on or if my hair looks perfect. He created me. He made me look the way I do. He LOVES the way I look, even when I wake up in the mornings and I look like I was hit by a truck a few too many times. He likes that.... And I should too. In the bible, God says he will never gives too much to handle (1 Corinthians 10:13), it doesn't say this exactly that way but being reminded that our God loves us so much that he would send his only son, who was perfect, to die a death that no one can even imagine, is my definition of true love. 


True Love. Jesus Christ. It make me think of the song by Phil Wickman. The words below are part of the song: 


Come close listen to the story
About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave His only Son just to save us


The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers Broken Heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died


I love these words. They are so powerful. It is so hard to even comprehend a love this great. I love the words when it says, "Walls we couldn't move cam crashing down. We were free and made alive," because it reminds me about how amazing Christ love for us is. Walls we couldn't move because of our sins because of our failures because of our wrong doings were broken down and crushed and forever gone because Jesus Christ died for us, which makes us free and alive to live. We no longer have to die a painful death because the Father sent His only Son to SAVE us! Fromour problems. To me, I needed to hear these words today. I need to be reminded sometimes that I am loved. I need to be reminded sometimes that I'm not alone. I was bought with a price and I am the princess of the King of all Kings. And I just have to say that the feeling of everlasting, unfailing love is a pretty dang good feeling.




P.S.- I love when Christ interrupts my negative thoughts and completely turns me around to him.... that kinda might have just happened. Okay, it totally did.

Show Us Your Pets

I have been at college now for 53 days now and I miss my puppy dog so much!!! I can't believe its been 33 days since I've seen her! (I went home for labor day.) But I miss my sweet Shelby so much!

I took that picture of her when I went home for Labor day. She was so excited to see me! It was so awesome to be greeted by here when I came home! And I can't wait till I go home for Josh and Leslie's wedding when I get to see here again!!! 

Here is a few more pictures of my precious puppy dog:

Favorite Place to Shop for Kids

Well since I don't actually have kids, this doesn't really apply to me... but I like shopping in general so I will talk about where I buy my clothes. 


The main place I shop, especially for jeans would be this place. They normally always have cute clothes and some great shoes. Flip-flops or sandals. Great sweater in the winter too. And nice, modest shorts for the summer. My favorite place. Speaking of this place, I have two $15 giftcards there... I should go look around there.... Mental note made.

This store is not only a place where I shop for random things but also clothes. They have some really cute things each season and I love them. The only thing is that you know your going to find someone else with the same outfit sooner than later because everybody (the normal ones) think that this place has some cute clothes and shoes and accessories and hats and purses and lots of other things too. 

I always go to this store with my mom. She is the one that introduced it to me and I love it. Most of my clothes come from here (or the two stores above) They always have great sales going on (side note: NEVER buy anything that isn't on sale there because it will eventually be, probably the next week) But they have a great clearance section and I love shopping here too!

I love the next two stores a lot too. I don't visit them enough. (and won't be for a while seeing as I'm on a budget) But they always have cute clothes! Their tops are adorable! I always find something there... even if I don't need anything. 

And the last two stores that I love shopping at (well I only love shopping at them or any of the above stores if I'm in a "clothes shopping mood" and thank goodness that isn't super often) are two normal mall stores. They have lots of different options yet I normally can always find something at them, if I REALLY need something (it might not be in the style I want.. but it normally has my color choice, which is nice.) 

College Life

Where do I even begin??


College has been, by far, the best experience of my life! And that's an understatement. I have learned so much about myself and about others in the month and one week that I have been here than I would have learned anywhere else. I have met some pretty incredible people and have had so many opportunities to share my faith... I just can not even put into words how awesome of an experience it has been.


So many things have happened since I've moved to the wonderful San Marcos. I left my hometown on Tuesday, August 23 with my parents. We stayed the night in a hotel in Austin that night because the next day, I had check in at Texas State at 11am and I didn't want to miss anything. Little did I know, God had some other plans for me that day. We left the hotel the next morning (Wednesday, August 24), at about 10:15ish, since it only takes about 30ish minutes to get to San Marcos from there. In the next few pictures, you'll figure out what happen:

And this is how felt after everything happened:

So my start to college was definitely was not how I expected it to start. But God loves to surprise us and give us challenges to work through. But I know there was a reason for the wreck and even if it was just to learn how to become more patient, that's a good lesson to learn in general.

But I still got to move in that day, just a whole lot later than expected. 

Here is a few pictures of my room and random things (if your my Facebook friend, you've seen these):

Speaking of meeting some great people, God has provided me with some awesome Godly girls in my life. Some the same age, some older. He has been so awesome with protecting me from some of the craziness of college and keeping me sane. I have been so blessed and just continue to realize how present God is in my life. 

I have visited a few churches here in the area and I really enjoy two of them. One is on Sunday morning and one is on Sunday evenings. I have to continue to visit both and pray about which one God wants me to be involved in. I know He has some amazing plans in store for me at which ever one I attend.

Classes are going well. I still don't enjoy the whole learning part about school but its still fun... (as much fun as studying/learning can get) But it is nice knowing some of the classes I am taking now will actually help me with my future unlike those that I took in high school... But hopefully my attitude toward school will continue to stay positive and that I will continue doing well. 

I do have to add about my favorite class is for sure bowling! I love that class! My highest score so far is 134 and I am super impressed with that. My goal to reach by the end of the semester is to hit a 200... big goal but hey, it just takes practice.. right?

I've learned I love dancing. It quite fun. Especially two-stepping. I might stink at it, but it is o so fun. If you've never tried it, TRY IT! Even if you hate dancing, you should try it. You might just like it! I sure do. 

Well that's all for now because my brain doesn't know what else to talk about for now and I'm just rambling about how awesome college is.... I'll ramble more later. But for now, I'm going to go get ready to put my cowgirl boots on and get my dancing self ready because we are going out dancing tonight for my friend, Mallori's birthday!!! 

Talk to ya'll later!

HAPPY EASTER!!!

Jesus has risen!! How wonderful it is! 

 
I love this song and it is such a great one for today! ENJOY!

 
Have a wonderful Easter Sunday!

Peace and Love

Exhaustion, Stress/Nerves and Summer

I am so tired today. I didn't go to sleep until after 4_AM last night… That just shouldn't be humanly possible. But I could not for the love of goodness stop thinking about different things going on in my life. My future, my friends and family, my relationship with the Lord, school currently and school in the future aka college and many other things that just came to mind. I was so frustrated which didn't help anything and I was so tired, I became an emotional mess. This might sound weird to some people but I love the feeling after a good long cry, especially if I cry at night. The only thing is I like to sleep a long time after the waterworks and this didn't get to happen. I only got 2 ½ hours of sleep……… not enough! But I feel somewhat better today and I hope that all my stress for things going on starts to dwindle soon.

I am so excited about college but like I said before it completely freaks me out. I know I will be successful but the thought of failing does pop into my head. I am so nervous about meeting new people (because I tend to judge way too quickly. I have high standards for people, which is terrible and wrong but I am working on it) and building lasting relationships with others. I am also starting freak out about finding a church home and a Sunday school class to join. I've been thinking about how I have gone to the same church that I am going to now since we moved here 12 years ago. I have been with the same group of girls (which I have never been super close with) for that time period too so I'm ready to go find my own church home but thinking about it makes me scared and nervous but also o so excited.

Did I say that I was tired? Because I am. Really tired.

So that is what is going on with me emotionally since I know everyone in the blog world wants to know about it. And right now in my "what people see on the outside" life, there is really nothing abnormal going on. I wake up, go to school, come home, eat lunch (sometimes, sometimes I forget), go to work, leave work and on Mondays go to class, Tuesdays go home and eat dinner, Wednesday go to church, Thursdays go home and eat dinner, and Fridays come home and eat dinner. I do other things on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, but it always varies. I have a pretty exciting life, right?

Graduation is almost here! We just started our sixth 6^th weeks of the school year and I'm so ready to be done. I am ready for some change in my life. As scary as it is, it so very exciting. (Can you tell I have very mixed emotions about this?)

And this summer is going to be SUPER busy! I graduate May 28^th and then the craziness begins:

    June 8-9 I have orientation at Texas State. This isn't Fish Camp. Just orientation.

    June 13-17 is Vacation Bible School (I am so pumped I get to do it this year because the last 4 years I have had cheer camp the same exact week)

    July 1-9 Babysitting Beach Trip (I go as the nanny)

    July 10-15 High School Camp for church

    July 17-21 Middle School Camp for church (I'm still not sure if I'll go as a youth leader yet)

    July 26-31 Mission Trip to St. Louis

And I'll also be working when I'm home and I'll also have fish camp during the summer sometime, I just hope it's not during High School Camp or Mission Trip. It can run over any of the other things. So I'll be crazy busy… But I'll have lots of pictures.

 

Hope all of you are having a wonderful Wednesday!

Peace and Love!

Just Missing Jesus

This was the title of the sermon today. To say that Sundays always fill my heart and make me happy would be an understatement. I love Sundays. Although it's hard to wake up "early" and get ready, once I'm at church (if I go in with a happy, joyful and positive attitude, and even when I don't), I seem to get something fantastic brought to my attention or I get questions I've been asking answered. And today was no different.

For those of you who do not go to church, today (Sunday, April 17) is Palm Sunday. This is the Sunday that comes before Easter. And today, in my opinion, was just what I needed before this next week. The sermon was titled "Faces in the Crowd: Just Missing Jesus" and the main verse was John 13:21-30. It says:

21 After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, "Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me."

 22 His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. 23 One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. 24 Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, "Ask him which one he means."

 25 Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, "Lord, who is it?"

 26 Jesus answered, "It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish." Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. 27 As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him.

   So Jesus told him, "What you are about to do, do quickly." 28 But no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. 29 Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the festival, or to give something to the poor.30 As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.

After reading through these verses, we did this outline. And the way my pastor presented this was awesome. I'll attach the sermon below the outline so if you want to listen you are more than welcome to. *I'm uploading this blog on Sunday so the online sermon won't be online for a day or two*

This is the outline:

Sermon Notes        Sunday, April 17, 2011

"Faces in the Crowd: Just Missing Jesus"

(John 13:21-30)

The story of Judas Iscariot is the story of a wasted life. He had every opportunity to choose well and yet, rejected Jesus Christ. How is it possible to be so close and still miss relationship to Jesus and eternity in heaven? It happens all the time. Pray for today as we celebrate the Lord's Supper and focus our hearts on the Savior.

1. We miss Jesus when we think we are
   fooling Him .
   
2. We miss Jesus when we want Him to
   fit our mold .
   
3. We miss Jesus when we allow
   closeness to breed familiarity .
   
4. We miss Jesus when we partner with
   the wrong people .
   
5. We miss Jesus when we
   ignore His invitations .
   
6. We miss Jesus when we
   reject His love .
   
7. We miss Jesus when we know
   guilt without repentance .
   

"A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment himself" (1 Corinthians 11:28-29 NIV)

 

ONLINE SERMON:
http://www.fbcallen.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=124704 (Just scroll to the bottom and click the last one)

 

This sermon made me think about how sometimes I am not always joyful with the things I do. I don't always thank my Heavenly Father for giving me a roof over my head, food on the table, parents and family members that love me, and all the other little things in life that add up to be very big things. I also thought about the main question which is "Am I missing Jesus?" For me, I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior BUT just because I have done that, does not mean that my journey is done. I have to live my ENTIRE life, not just parts of my life, for him. And sometimes that is tough and hard. But I have to remember that not everything is going to be easy with my walk with Christ. I'm going to have days that test my patience, my strength and my will-power. I have to remember that my life is because of Christ love for me. He died on the cross for my sins, paying the highest sacrifice. I don't know what your answer is to that question above but I hope that if you don't already believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and he died on the cross for your sins to make a way for you to go to heaven, that you would accept this amazing gift that has been given to you because you never know when your last breath will be.

 

Hoping everyone is having a wonderful Sunday!

Peace and Love!